| melchman's guide to: | Michael Jackson |
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| Prerequisites: | None |
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| Sources: | Various Sources |
Michael Jackson Humor
His momma always told him "Be careful what you do. Don't go around breaking young girl's hearts." She never expected him to take her so literally.
We all saw it coming! He told us he was "Bad", "Dangerous" and "Off the Wall." The progressive plastic surgeries, charge after charge of misconduct, a place called the Neverland Ranch ... Someone would eventually become uncomfortable with the situation. On the heels of the latest charges, the ones that won't go away, we have the raft of jokes.
The Jokes
Q: What is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz-2-Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at the Jackson residence?
A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A: Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing".
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Doctor, Doctor!
Michael Jackson was consulting his wife's doctor. He finally asked, "How soon after the birth, um, is it possible to, you know, have sex?"
"Oooh," replied the doctor. "You should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old."
Pack A Day
Apparently Michael was up to a pack a day habit before he was finally relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties!
10 Jobs least suited to Michael Jackson
10. Pop Singer
9. Zoo Keeper
8. Ice Cream Man
7. School Guidance Counselor
6. Children's Swimming Instructor
5. Roman Polanski's Traveling Companion
4. Day Care Provider
3. Pediatrician
2. Shopping Mall Santa
1. Roman Catholic Priest
Safer in Iraq!
A photo from the front lines in Iraq proudly proclaims young boys are safer there than at the Neverland Ranch!
