I Was Joking...

Many of you have read the posts or heard me refer to my neighbor as the "Home Owner's Association Nazi" for some of the authoritarian steps he has taken to ensure the property values go up.

I am joking.

As a non Jewish, American, under the age of 70. I am able to joke. I was not "over there" in the 30's and 40's. My government does not outlaw certain symbols, articles and types of political speech. I know no one who was in a concentration camp, guarding or working to death.

It was easy to make the joke because:
The guy has and umlaut in his first name
He has 4 children that have blonde hair, blue eyes
He is teaching them all to speak German
He stands guard at play time with a stance befitting a good soldier

These things do not make him a member of a regime bent on world domination and extermination of religious sects. For crying out loud, I'm of German descent. Properly spelled, my mother's maiden name has an umlaut in it. My grandmother spoke a German dialect.

I do submit, for your consideration, his choice in reading material. Courtesy of another error from the worst postal carriers in the entire USPS:

Yes, I cropped it to protect his mailing address (and mine since I admitted being his neighbor). This is, however, a magazine called World War II published by that promises new revelations from a lost interview with Hermann himself.

I know it is about history. I can read the inside cover has advertisements for Avalon Hill Games miniatures for boys (like me) who never grew up. It does make jokes about my neighbor a bit more fun, though.


Record Heat, High Wind

Apparently after a record setting temperature day we are getting a super windy night.

#1 Worldwide, Bullocks

Plasticville has more aspects than plastic neighbors and draconian HOAs. It has realtors. Aggressive realtors who advertise without thinking. Aggressive realtors with really bad names.

Never Mind the Sex Pistols, It's Bob Bullock! He was the #3 Agent Companywide in 2003. He was the #2 Agent worldwide in 2001.

Never mind the market has slumped and Bob hasn't made the top ten is over 2 years...

He will sell your house for $562,00 - $725,000! On average that is only 75,000 less than you paid last year!

Religious Intolerance, Do Not Read!

So, one of Plasticville's other perks is religious freedom, but not freedom from religion.

Upon meeting our new next door neighbors we were invited to "join them Sunday" and for Bible Study Thursday. I didn't even know their religion and I was invited. The "man of the house" quickly "shushed" her realizing it was probably too soon in the relationship to bring up the subject.

Can't blame her really. The other new neighbor moved in to be closer to their fellow congregants. We were really just "moving in with the flock" in her eyes. It would be rude not to extend the offer. Maybe she gets a free week off offerings?

We can't even discuss the depth of disdain from my neighbors when I did not decorate for the religious holidays in December. They were not sure whether to be more confused or concerned. "Are you Jewish?" Our friendly parishioner asked. The newest owners of one of our close cluster of homes proudly displays a Buddha on the entry column. I can't imagine the confusion and unknowing abuse they are getting.

Today, a slightly terrified, skinny, little kid stopped by to hand deliver an invitation. It was to a gathering at the Glendale Arena. He handed it over face down so I would not reject it immediately. His hand shook as he passed it to me.

I happily took his page and said something like, "Oh!" "Great!" "The Glendale Arena" Then closed the door before his speech began. Kid might have a career in sales after this round of rejection.

Well, in case you read this without heading my warning (bad bLog reader!) and wanted to join the Witnesses at their global, arena-sized, weekend-long recruitment drive the information is a below. If you can read it, you could just go the Watch Tower.

Oh, by the way, welcome to Scottsdale. Bible Study is tomorrow night. Topic is "Wives Gone Wild: What would Isaac do?"

Someone Else Understands Plasticville

I went to get take out from Flo's and met a guy from Danbury. Get this story...

He moved out here with his wife for her job. He is finding the salary range much lower than back east. I shared my HOA nightmares with him and he chuckled knowingly. He said the Snottsdale attitude has him moving to Surprise. They are leaving their second condo for a house out there. Nicer than this place, less than half the price!

His favorite encounter was on a golf course. He live near the FLW and Scottsdale road intersection. Some days he exercises the dog along the canal. The golf course is next to the canal. His usual time for this exercise is early afternoon on weekdays when the course is usually empty. He rides his bike and the dog runs with him. One day the dog got out in front a bit and a man in a golf cart drives full speed toward the dog and makes a sharp skid turn in front of the dog! The dog sits and stares at the golf cart driver, a bit confused. My Danbury friend catches up and the cart driver starts threatening him and the dog! "you oughtta leash that animal before someone gets hurt, I got my phone right here I call someone to get this animal off the course, blah blah, threat, empty words..."

So here we have a fine example of California Transplantation. The man nearly runs down a dog with a golf cart. The dog reacts by sitting at attention. The Transplant threatens the dog, the owner and civility because he is used to getting his way. I asked my friend from Danbury why he did not threaten to snap his scrawny neck before his finished dialing his phone for help just for threatening his dog. We laughed at the thought then went back to our beers knowing that is exactly what the cart creep wanted. He was trying to provoke a reaction that would be actionable. Push civility to the breaking point then sue to collect cash.

BTW, The food was good.